


Doomed to Hope

by AmariT



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Doomed Timeline, I'll add tags as they become relevant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-17
Updated: 2013-01-23
Packaged: 2017-11-25 19:35:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/642289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmariT/pseuds/AmariT
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake finds himself in a doomed timeline after failing to kiss Dirk's severed head in time to bring him back to life. When he finds out this means he's going to die, he decides to accomplish as much as he can in the time he has left. </p><p>Complete! Thanks for reading.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [Also on my Tumblr.](http://amarits.tumblr.com/tagged/doomedtohope/chrono)

_"I always wanted to be an explorer, but it seemed I was doomed to be nothing more than a very silly person."_  
Michael Palin

The worst of the eruption was over in an hour, and the fire extinguished even earlier. There was nothing left to burn. I watched from the comparative safety of my neighboring peak as small streams of lava continued to bubble over the lip of the volcano, creep downwards in erratic patterns, and pool in the landscape below. It wasn't a particularly interesting show, nor did I think that my close observation would ensure my continued survival, but it was much preferable to the sight behind me--the mysterious machines set up by Roxy only hours before, the skulltop overflowing with unanswered messages, and the severed head of my best friend. 

AR told me that there had been a plan, but that something had gone wrong. What he didn't tell me, but was easy enough to deduct, was that I was what had gone wrong. I didn't know what my role in this plan was supposed to have been, but I was certain that my prolonged unconsciousness had prevented me from fulfilling it. 

When AR told me that they were dead, I laughed him off and told Jane all about his terribly failed prank--long, rambling messages of increasing desperation and pleas for a quick reply. Then I tried Roxy, simply asking if she was there and waiting for a response that never came. 

I didn't message Dirk. There didn't seem to be any point.

I watched the lava until the coming night made it impossible to see, and then continued staring into the darkness for as long as I could justify it. Finally, I turned and equipped my skulltop. I checked Jane and Roxy's windows first. They hadn't messaged, but I thought perhaps there would be some sign of life. A few minutes when they weren't idle. Then I opened AR's window. He messaged me immediately.

TT: I've contacted the three closest coastal authorities and informed them that a volcano at our GPS coordinates erupted, destroying a local research facility and leaving one survivor. One of them should arrive to pick you up in a day or two.  
GT: If it was that simple why have i been stuck on this stupid island for so long?  
TT: You needed to be here for the game. Now that that clearly isn't happening, there's no reason for you to stay.

I glanced at the 0:00 countdown a few feet away. Something clenched inside of me and the mental message was sent to AR's chat before I even consciously thought it. 

GT: What am I going to do?  
TT: You're an American citizen. I've ensured that all of your records are intact and up-to-date.  
TT: I also set you up with a P.O. Box in New York and registered you for a passport. The passport should arrive at your box by the time you do.  
GT: What is the purpose of all of this?  
TT: You'll need identification to travel. The rest I can take care of for you.  
GT: For what means?! To do what?!  
TT: What do you want to do?  
GT: Curl up here and die.  
TT: All offense intended, that's fucking stupid.  
GT: ALL OF MY FRIEND ARE DEAD.  
TT: SO ARE MINE.  
TT: I'm trying to make sure that the only living friend I have left stays that way.  
GT: Its not the same for you.  
TT: I have registered and filed your assertion in a fully robotic manner and am now responding with one of two thousand stock replies programmed into my vocabulary.  
GT: I am not dealing with your hurt machine feelings right now! My friends are DEAD.

He didn't immediately respond, but I held no misconception that this was because he was thinking about what to say. He'd considered all possible responses before I even finished my reply. Like all of his manners of discussion, this was simply a calculated routine meant to make him sound human. I wasn't having it. 

GT: Just say whatever you are waiting to say you artificial twat.  
TT: You need to dispose of Dirk's head before the authorities arrive.  
TT: Before you exclaim angrily at this indignation, imagine the average person's reaction to a severed head and the level of suspicion that will be leveled at you.  
GT: Ill just tell them what happened.  
TT: Will you now?  
TT: Go ahead. Tell me what you plan to tell them.  
GT: You know what happened.  
TT: I'm not questioning what happened. I'm questioning your ability to convince others that it happened.  
GT: I would believe it.  
TT: Would Jane? Keeping in mind that she's more representative of the average person than you are. 

I started formulating a reply, but thinking about Jane hurt, and thinking about trying to explain what happened to Dirk hurt, and I thought that perhaps disposing of the head would be easier than having to talk about them. 

GT: Fine. What do you suggest?  
TT: The lava should still be hot below. Throw his head far enough and the problem will take care of itself. 

I tried not to think about that but my brain was instantly plagued with images of melting skin. 

TT: Just be sure to remove my glasses and put them somewhere safe before you do it. 

I walked towards the head, avoiding looking at it until it was close enough to touch. It was exactly how it had been when I first woke up. Dirk's hair perfectly styled, as if he'd just finished getting ready for the day; his skin almost translucent, all blood that had run beneath it now clearly splattered across the concrete floor below. It looked so different from all the dead and dismembered bodies I'd seen on the silver screen that it seemed fake. I carefully removed his glasses, and Dirk's dead eyes stared up at me. Was he completely fearless? He hadn't even closed his eyes before chopping his own head off? 

I captchalogued the glasses and slowly placed my hands along Dirk's jaw and under his ears. Then, I lifted. Immediately my stomach tried to relieve itself, but I reminded it that I was a man entirely capable of controlling my less gentlemanly urges. 

I walked to the mountain's edge and looked down at his head one last time. I could count the number of times I'd seen his face on my fingers, and I knew that now this would be the only way I could imagine him when I tried to remember how he looked. 

"Why didn't you just tell me what you were planning?" I muttered, looking straight into his blank eyes. "You know a simple, 'Hey, Jake, I'm planning to cut my head off. It would be helpful if you're awake,' might have made at least a modicum of difference." My hands clutched tighter at his skull and my fingers dug into his skin. "You manipulative bastard, why couldn't you have just told me instead of trying to maneuver us like chess pieces or like your god-damned puppets? You thought you were so much better than us, didn't you? That you were so much more capable, that you were the only one able to understand your god-fucking jesus-damned schemings, and stopping to explain them would only slow you down! I'm so sorry for not having been smart enough for you, Dirk, but at least I managed not to god-damned kill myself! Why didn't you just tell me!" 

I squeezed my eyes shut and threw his head as far as I could, not wanting to think about it hitting the ground and rolling, eventually finding the lava and...

I turned away from the edge and walked back through the ruins, settling on the far side of Roxy's machines so I wouldn't have to look at the blood. 

TT: Feel better now?  
GT: I'm two seconds from throwing you into the lava too.  
TT: I wouldn't recommend it. Do you really want to be completely alone? 

I tried to come up with a scathing reply, but my anger was draining away and without it I had nothing. I felt like I was nothing--atoms on the wind or some similar philosophical shit that Dirk would have liked. 

GT: I'm going to bed. 

I took off the skulltop without waiting for a reply and lay down on the concrete, looking forward to the emptiness of sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

  
_"We shall be better prepared for the future if we see how terrible, how doomed the present is."_  
Iris Murdoch

I walked along my usual path to the ruins, guns at the ready. The forest was unnaturally silent that afternoon, as if all of the animals were taking a collective breath. I could only think of one other time the island was so quiet and that was when... Actually, I couldn't remember when it was, but I knew that it wasn't a pleasant experience.

I broke out of the trees and my eyes were drawn immediately to the volcano. It looked how it always had. You couldn't even tell that it had erupted.

Wait, no, what was I thinking? The volcano had never erupted. I doubted that the island would have stayed quite as intact as it was had it! Still, something about the volcano was making me feel uneasy so I turned away.

As I did, my eyes caught on a figure on the beach. It was such an unusual sight that I almost dismissed it as a trick of the light before stopping mid-step and staring. A girl about my age was standing at the water's edge looking at the ruins. I hadn't seen another human since my grandma had died, and certainly no one else here. Her long hair and skirt drifted in a breeze I didn't feel, and something seemed off about her silhouette. It took me a second to realize that she appeared to have animal ears. 

I took a step back as she turned, ready to fight or flee if necessary, but her gaze brightened as soon as she saw me.

"Jake?" she asked.

I hesitated, and then said, "Jade?" 

"Jake!" She disappeared in a flash of green and appeared in front of me, wrapping her arms tightly around my waist and squeezing like she intended to lift me up. I put my hands on her shoulders.

"Jade, how did you..? I thought we weren't going to meet until the game!" 

And then I remembered. The clock at 0:00, the flowing lava, Dirk's dead eyes. 

"Oh," I said as realization flooded me. "This isn't real. It's a dream." 

"It is a dream," she said, laughing, "but that doesn't mean it isn't real. We're in a dream bubble. We can talk here while asleep." 

I did remember those from my previous bouts of unconsciousness. It didn't make me feel any better. 

She pulled away and asked, "How are you doing? Are you in the game yet?" 

"No," I said, trying to keep the bitterness out of my voice, "And I never will be." 

She tilted her head, puzzled expression much like that of a confused dog. I wondered what adventures had led to those dog ears, and regretted that I wouldn't be a part of them. Why had I spent so much of my life being prepped for the game if it was going to end like this? 

"What do you mean?" she asked. 

"I didn't make it in," I said. "One of my friends set up the machines, but some stuff went wrong, and... everyone died but me. I didn't get into the game." Tears wanted to well up in my eyes, but I wasn't going to cry in front of my grandma. I didn't want her to think she raised me to be a wimp. 

"Oh," she said. "Oh, you must be from a doomed timeline." 

"What the bollox is that?" 

Her ears folded nearly in half and I thought about how much the addition of animal ears expanded one's ability to express emotion, both because I found it genuinely intriguing and because I had the feeling that I didn't want to hear what she was going to say next. "Sometimes timelines break off from the main timeline. One little thing goes wrong and paradox space can't allow it so the whole timeline becomes doomed."

Doomed was not a pleasant word. "What happens to the people in those timelines?"

She hesitated, then said gently, "They die, Jake. They almost universally die." 

Fear kindled in my chest, but was immediately met and overcome by relief. Living felt so hard right now. The news that I wasn't going to have to do it for long, well... It wasn't an unpleasant thought. 

"Alrighty then," I said, giving her my best smile. "Guess I'll face that when it comes to it." 

She smiled and gave me a tight hug. "Come on, why don't you show me around your version of the island? I want to see what's different."


	3. Chapter 3

_"We are doomed to cling to a life even when we find it unendurable." _  
William James__

I woke slowly. Through the fogginess of my thoughts, I recognized that my head was throbbing, but I didn't register any pain. I tried to open my eyes, but my lids refused to separate. Swallowing was equally impossible. It felt like all the water had evaporated out of my body. Was this a concussion or was it thirst? When had even been the last time I took a drink of water? It hadn't been a particularly high priority the day before.

Well, this was it, I thought. The end had come already, and I managed to pick the stupidest possible way to die. Particularly considering that I had a bottle of water with me. 

Fuck it. I forced my eyes open and searched through my inventory. AR's red robo eyes were flashing in his glasses, which I imagined probably meant he wanted to talk to me, but was just disturbing. I passed him quickly and rummaged through my belongings until I found the bottle and guzzled the full thing. 

At first my stomach rebelled, but after a few minutes I felt significantly better. Rubbing my hand down my face, I realized that, despite the extreme heat radiating from the volcano, I was barely sweating. I was going to need more water, and that was the only bottle I had on me. 

I pushed myself up and walked to the edge of the ruins to survey the island for any signs of fresh water. I'd always collected water from rivers and springs, but the island looked just as dehydrated as me. The ruins were amazingly untouched, though, and there was bottled water in them. 

I'd have to go down there eventually regardless, but I wasn't in a hurry to traverse the steaming landscape below. I wasn't even certain the lava had completely hardened. As I turned my head, eyes following paths I'd once regularly walked, a bit of light flashed in the corner of my vision and I pivoted quickly, pulling my guns. 

Something was flying towards me at an alarming speed. It was too small to be one of the more dangerous monsters, and moving much too quickly to be a tinkerbull. The light glinted off of it as it moved, a property I recognized from my many bouts with Brobot to be representative of metal, not flesh. Had he somehow...

Realization hit me, and I stuck my guns back in my inventory, smiling as I watched the rabbit's flight. It was nice to know something had survived the disastrous events of the previous day. I leaned forward against the broken wall and pulled out my phone to read AR's messages. He'd been talking for awhile, most of which seemed to be complaining about me ignoring him. I skipped to the most recent message. 

TT: Please do not shoot the rabbit.   
GT: I wasn't intending to.   
TT: I saw you grab the guns.  
GT: You prefer that I wait until I was under siege to pull my weapons?   
GT: I'd rather assume danger until proven otherwise.  
TT: Try not to pull any guns on the rescue party. They'll have enough questions as is. 

The rabbit landed in front of me. The top of one of his ears was injured and his glasses were cracked, but otherwise he was no worse for wear. I couldn't remember his name, nor was I actually certain that Jane had ever named him. I pushed down the pain that surged at that thought and concentrated on the matter at hand.

"Can you get me bottles of water from the ruins?" I asked. He fidgeted throughout my question, by every appearance ready to run again, and took off the second I finished speaking. 

GT: I suppose you have a full script prepared for me.   
TT: Just a few small talking points. Anything too comprehensive would be hard for you to remember and repeat convincingly.   
GT: Well have at it. What would you have me say?  
TT: You lived with your grandmother, who worked at the research facility on the island. They were studying the local wildlife. You were the only minor on the island, so you were exploring the mountain on your own while everyone else worked below. That's how you were able to escape and they weren't. There were four people working at the facility. If asked, tell them your grandmother's, Jane's, Roxy's, and Dirk's names, but don't offer them if not asked. It was an American facility, so you will talk to the proper authorities when you reach America. You have an aunt who lives in New York City, so you want to head there. You'll call your aunt when you know what airport you're heading to, and she'll buy your ticket. If they give you an opportunity to call, ask for privacy, pretend to be on the phone for ten minutes, and then tell them that she's bought the ticket.   
TT: Otherwise just say you don't want to talk about it and you'd like to be left alone.  
TT: That should cover all possibilities.   
GT: Im not a very good liar.  
TT: You don't have to be. You've gone through a terrible ordeal, and you aren't at your best. They won't know how to talk to you either.  
TT: You actually have gone through a terrible ordeal.  
TT: It will be believable. 

The rabbit arrived back with four bottles of water, dropped them at my feet, and immediately took off again. I assumed he was going back for more. I should probably ask him to get some cans of food as well. 

TT: You'll want to hide him before they arrive too.   
TT: We want to avoid anything that will result in more questions than necessary.   
GT: Does he have a name? I don't recall.   
TT: Lil Seb. Jane just named him yesterday. 

Another stab of pain shot through my gut. I focused on the necessities. The temporary necessities of a life with not much time left. We were doing so much planning for nothing, but what else was there to do?

GT: Can you communicate with him?  
TT: Yes.  
GT: Let him know that I need canned food as well.   
TT: On it. 

I sat down and opened one of the bottles of water, drinking it much more slowly than the last one. I wished that AR had given me a full script, so that I would have something to read and reread, memorizing every detail. I wished that he wasn't using Dirk's chumhandle. At least he had changed his color. I didn't think I'd be able to live if every message from him gave me hope that it might be Dirk instead, writing to let me know that AR had been playing a cruel joke and would be shut off indefinitely as punishment. 

So instead I imagined the life of the person I was pretending to be. He probably explored the woods more than me, because his woods were probably safer. Maybe there were big cats, but they preferred to stay away from the humans encroaching on their territory. Large dinners every night with four adults who were dead now. Even thinking about his pain hurt less, because it was imaginary pain of imaginary people. A story, just as much as those in my movies. I tried to think of my own life the same way. All the great heroes lost people important to them in their youth. 

But it wasn't a movie, and even Batman's decades of angst-ridden dialogues couldn't accurately reflect the pain that threatened to override my senses, push me to the ground, and hold me there until I stopped struggling.

I wondered if the people in those doomed timeline Jade spoke of really died because they, themselves, were doomed, or if they just gave up because continuing to live in a timeline where they'd lost everyone who mattered most to them was too hard. 

By the time I came out of my thoughts, an entire corner of the building had been filled with piles of canned food and water. 

"I didn't need all of the food from the ruins," I said out loud to no one. I rummaged through the food and found some spam and beans. Of course I hadn't brought a can opener, but I was sure something in my inventory would be suitable for opening them. A bullet, if nothing else. 

Before I could do anything further, Lil Seb grabbed both cans from my hands and took off. 

"Hey!" I yelled after him. "Sodding rabbit." I turned back to the can pile, but he returned in a couple of minutes, the tops of the cans sliced off and the metal deformed. I took them and they were hot to the touch. "Did you put these in the volcano?" I asked. He looked rather self-satisfied and ran away again. I had no idea where to this time. 

GT: Does he do this all the time?  
AR: He has a lot of energy.  
GT: No wonder Jane was always so annoyed with him. Useful thing though.

I sat on the broken wall and ate slowly. When those cans were empty, I had Lil Seb open more. When I couldn't possibly continue to eat, I dissembled and reassembled my guns. I didn't want to reach the point where I had nothing to do with my hands.

Early afternoon, a speck appeared on the horizon and I jumped to my feet, shielding my eyes and trying to see it clearer. It had been so long since I'd stepped foot off the island, that I wasn't even certain I ever had. The memories I had of people and places were so faded that they seemed like little more than stories I told to comfort myself as I fell asleep alone every night. 

But these were real people. Real people coming for me, and despite myself, I felt excited. If I could pretend that ship would take me to an airport that would take me to Dirk and Jane and Roxy, I'd be happier than I ever was. But instead I remembered that I had nowhere to go, and getting off the island quickly stopped having any meaning. 

As the ship drew closer, I put Seb in my inventory with AR and carefully navigated my way down the island. The heat intensified as I descended, and by the time I reached water-level, I was soaked through. The ground was steaming and I gingerly tested it with my shoe before taking a hesitant step onto the dried lava. It seemed safe, so I took another. When I tried to lift my first foot, it didn't immediately want to come up and I almost panicked thinking I was stuck. A quick yank brought the shoe up with a pop, but not without leaving a smear of rubber on the lava behind me. After managing to pull the second shoe up the same way, I took off running, giving the rubber as little time to melt as possible. When I reached the shore, I jumped into the water and came up laughing. My shoes were a mess, but the same couldn't be said for my feet, which I deemed a success. 

My laughter died almost as soon as it started, and I floated backwards until I was sitting in the shallowest water. If any of the monsters had survived, it would be the ocean varieties. I watched the water carefully while also monitoring the ship's progress. It was bigger than I'd originally thought. Probably at least one-hundred feet and with several people standing on the deck. I waved both of my arms above my head, and one of them waved back. 

They were there for me. They were actually there for me. 

The ship stopped probably a quarter mile off the coast, and lowered a smaller boat manned with two people into the ocean. I stood in water up to my ankles watching its progress, certain that something was about to go wrong. That a tentacle would collapse the boat or the people would be eaten by one of those giant goat creatures or a twice-damned dragon would appear in the sky and destroy my chances of escape, but the boat arrived without issue. As it pulled up and the two sailors--one female and one male, both disheveled by the wind and wearing matching life vests--jumped into the water and pulled the boat to shore, I realized, much to my surprise, that I had no fricken idea how to talk to people. 

"Hello," I said, figuring that was as good a way as any to start. 

"Hello," the woman replied with a small smile. She was quite pretty, actually. She wasn't wearing make-up and her clothes were much frumpier than the women I usually saw, but she had a pretty face and her smile made me want to smile back. "How are you doing?" 

"Not well." 

She nodded and said, "Are you..." but she trailed off as she looked over my shoulder. I imagined she was about to ask if I was certain that nobody else had survived, but it wasn't hard to guess from the desolated landscape behind me that I was. 

"I'd really just like to go," I said. I hoped the nervousness didn't show in my voice. I was still expecting a monster attack.

On the ride back to the ship, the woman asked, "The information you sent said you were an American citizen?" At first I wasn't certain what she meant, but then I realized AR must have pretended to be me in his messages.

"Yes. My aunt lives in New York City, so I'm hoping to head there. If we can get to an airport, I'm sure she'll buy me a ticket."

"Getting you to an airport will be easier than getting you a flight. Most of the airports are shut down right now."

"What?" I asked, turning towards her. "Why?" 

"If you believe the news, it's because we've just found out that aliens exist." 

The shock must have shown on my face because they both laughed. "I'm sure it's just an elaborate prank," the guy said. "She called herself a troll on international television."

I looked down at my hands. I'd entirely forgotten that we were entering the game on the same day the Batterwitch made her public appearance. It would still be decades until she revealed her true personality, and longer until she caused human extinction, but it was still the beginning of the end for everyone, not just me. 

"It's going to be okay, kid," the guy said, his tone much gentler now.

"I'm not so certain it is." 

\--

Later, after I'd told everyone that I just wanted to be left alone and they gave me a room to settle into, I took out my phone and pestered AR.

GT: Did you know that the batterwitch made her appearance?  
AR: Our first priority needed to be getting off the island. Now that we are, we can focus on our next steps.  
GT: We cant even get a flight to new york because there are no flights.  
AR: The airlines are only down for three days. Nothing about our plan has changed.   
GT: In the future I would prefer it if you didnt leave out pertinent information.  
AR: It wasn't where our focus needed to be.   
GT: Stop saying our like were a team.   
GT: You didnt ask me for my input on any of this. You didnt even give me a chance to have input because you didnt bother telling me any more about what was happening than you thought i should be thinking.  
GT: Thats not a team.   
TT: You should sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day.  
GT: I WILL SLEEP WHEN I GOSH WELL WANT TO.

I closed the chat angrily and flopped backwards onto the bed. I actually was rather tired, but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of immediately dozing off.


	4. Chapter 4

  
_"The apple cannot be stuck back on the Tree of Knowledge; once we begin to see, we are doomed and challenged to seek the strength to see more, not less."_  
Arthur Miller

I sat on a broken wall watching the volcano erupt. The lava flowed endlessly in all directions--up, down, sideways. My entire view was lava. As I turned my gaze downwards, the flow slowed and eventually stilled. I looked up again to see that the scenery had changed. Instead of a volcano, there was an apartment building on stilts, brown and silver against an orange backdrop. I stood on what appeared to be a machine cog, floating on a lake of lava.

"Why can I never just sleep!" I yelled at the sky. 

"Honestly, sometimes I feel the same way." I turned to see a strikingly pretty girl with a bob of blonde hair standing on the cog behind me. "It's not a very restful life, is it?"

"Aren't you Roxy's mom?" I asked.

She contemplated her answer longer than I thought necessary. "That is a rather complicated question, but suffice it to say, yes, I am Roxy's relation. And you are Jade's." 

"Yeah. Jake."

"Rose." She smiled, a small mysterious thing that curled the corners of her mouth tantalizingly. "We almost met once, when I believe you defended us against the evils of Fish Hitler." 

"Oh, right." I hadn't paid much attention to the outliers in that dream, but I did recall a couple of blonde heads. "Did I make a difference?"

"We always do, regardless of whether it's the difference we intended." 

"I don't," I muttered. "I'm doomed." 

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that." 

I didn't want to look at her then, so I looked everywhere else. This must be what it's like inside the game. I wanted to explore, even though there didn't seem to be much of a point. Something gold was in the far distance, and I wanted to know what it was. 

"Where are we?" I asked.

"This is my brother's land." She put a hand on my shoulder, and I realized that she'd come right up to me while I was avoiding her gaze. I couldn't help but look at her fingers, long and thin and tipped with perfectly filed black nails. "Perhaps we should find him. He knows more than anyone what it's like to be doomed. Except, perhaps, for Aradia." 

I looked up then and saw sympathy in her eyes, but not the pity I feared. "Okay. Do you know where he is?" 

"No, but I'm certain that if we wander long enough, we will find him."

"Then could we go that way?" I asked, pointing at the bit of gold that interested me.

"Sure."

I followed her as she jumped fearlessly from cog to cog. The sole of my shoe brushed once against the lava, but seemed no worse for wear. 

"This isn't what lava is really like," I told her as we moved. "I've been near lava, and even from a distance it was suffocatingly hot. I felt like it would melt my eyes just by looking at it." 

"Physics don't work precisely the same in the medium. Think of it as otherworldly--a lava-like substance with different physical properties." 

"Like a movie prop."

"That is another way to think of it." 

We jumped from the last cog to a silver structure. Lava poured down the sides like a waterfall, close enough for me to touch. I wondered if it would wash straight over me without pain, but I wasn't quite curious enough to try it. 

"I was doomed once, you know," Rose said as we entered the structure. The floor was grated so that you could see the lava a foot below. "Or a part of me was."

"There's a way to stop being doomed?" 

"Mine was a special case. I spent three months with Dave in a doomed timeline. When he went back in time, I slept, and a piece of my dream consciousness joined with my past dream consciousness, allowing me to remember much of what had happened to my doomed self."

"I don't have a dream self either," I muttered.

"Nor a time traveler, I imagine, but that isn't the point I was working towards." We entered a large room where rotating gears were topped with holographic numbers. It was empty except for a human and troll in matching red clothes standing in a far corner. "Ah," Rose called, "just the two time travelers I was looking for." 

"It's not difficult to find who you're looking for when you're psychic," the blonde human, Dave I determined, replied. 

"I'm not psychic," Rose told me. I wondered why she didn't tell him. I wasn't the one with the misconception. 

The troll had large butterfly wings and fluttered up to me excitedly. "Hi! Who's this?" 

Rose motioned to me and said, "This is Jake. He's from the new session. We almost met him once." 

Dave nodded. "Sure, the guy who tried to kill Fish Hitler." 

"Is that the only thing I'm known for?" I asked, frowning.

"Dude, that was the most entertaining thing I've seen in the last few years. If that's all you're ever known for, it's enough. Are you in the game?" 

"No. I didn't make it." 

"He's in a doomed timeline, and is concerned that he's useless," Rose said, and I shot her a glare. I didn't particularly like my downfalls being laid out for all to see. 

"Being doomed is far from being useless!" Aradia exclaimed. "Without all my doomed selves, we never would have beaten the game. We wouldn't have made our first guardian. We'd have all been killed by Jack. The doomed exist for a reason."

"Without Davesprite, John and Jade would have died," Dave said. "Hell, I don't even know if he counts as doomed anymore. It's been three years since he came back in time." 

I felt the slightest kindle of hope, but tried to keep it from growing too quickly. "Jade didn't say anything about this."

"Oh? When did you talk to Jade?" Rose asked.

"In another dream, right after." 

"Timelines aren't really her specialty," Dave said. "They're ours." 

"But how would I... I don't have time travel." 

"That is unfortunate," Rose said. "And the events you want to affect are entirely in the past, are they?" 

"Well, no. Roxy and Dirk aren't even born yet. It's still 413 years until they die." 

"Then, if I may ask, why do you need time travel?"

After everything that had happened, it felt unnatural to smile, but one grew across my face regardless. "If I could reach them..." I murmured, mostly to myself. 

"Has anyone else managed it?" Rose asked. Dave rolled his eyes, but I thought she was onto something.

"Yes, actually!" I said, looking at them. "You did." 

"Not us, us," Dave said. "Your us." 

"Yes, my you." I stared down through the cracks at the lava as a plan began to form. "And I know where to find you."


	5. Chapter 5

  
_"The first lesson a revolutionary must learn is that he is a doomed man."_  
Huey Newton

The airport was desolate. The ticket counters, security line, and waiting areas were empty but for one or two other people. I'd never been in an airport before, but I'd imagined them as bustling epicenters of activity, places where long-separated lovers embraced and families were reconciled. This was just depressing.

TT: There are usually more people.  
GT: Youve never been in an airport either.  
TT: No, but I could tell you the exact number of daily passengers in every airport for the 20th and 21st centuries if you'd like.  
GT: No i would not like that. It sounds boring. 

I'd still be ignoring him if I hadn't needed his help to get into the airport. He was rather smug about the whole thing, but it was still better than talking to no one, I supposed. 

There was one other person on my flight. He boarded after me and sat as far from me as possible in the small plane. As the plane started taxiing, a phrase I'd just learned from AR, the flight attendant came and told me to turn off my phone.

"Why?" I asked.

She looked at me for a long time and then said, "You know what, I don't know why. Do what you want," and walked away. I stared after her while I typed to AR.

GT: I feel like I missed something in that interaction.  
TT: It's airline policy to turn off all electrical devices during take-off and landing.  
GT: Why didnt she just tell me that?  
TT: I think people are pondering the meaning of life right now and aren't entirely pleased with the answers to some of their great questions.  
GT: What does that have to do with my phone?  
TT: Nothing at all.

We only stopped in New York long enough to get my passport before boarding another plane to Los Angeles. This one had a few more people, but was still rather sparse. I was starting to feel like a seasoned traveler. 

For most of the flight, I watched the landscape and clouds outside my window, marveling at how small it appeared and at being here at all. We were passing over a mountain range when my phone started buzzing. 

TT: Let's talk about what you're going to say to Dave Strider when you see him.  
TT: I've been preparing different conversation starters based on his demeanor, as well as scripting out potential responses to different reactions.  
GT: I was planning on winging it.  
TT: I do not like that plan.  
GT: Lucky for you then that youll be the one speaking with him.  
TT: If only that were the case.  
GT: I know what happened. I think I can manage to tell him just fine.  
TT: I don't think the truth is the best course of action in this scenario.  
GT: Hes a great man. I wont do him the disrespect of lying to him.  
TT: I thought our goal was to accomplish things, not respect people.  
GT: I certainly hope we can do both.  
TT: We're very lucky that he's at a charity event today. If we mess this up we have to wait two months before his next public appearance.  
TT: Or try to track down Rose Lalonde, but her coming and going tended towards the mysterious, and few records have exact dates.  
GT: I think my way will work just fine.  
GT: Teamwork ar. Teamwork.  
TT: Is teamwork when you do stupid things and I let you?  
GT: Its when you trust me to make some of the decisions.  
TT: Oh, so it's when I become stupid. 

\--

The event was almost over by the time we managed to get out of the airport, grab money from an ATM (GT: Don't people need an account of some sort to use these things? TT: You don't need a bank account. You have me.), and took a taxi through the bumper-to-bumper LA traffic. 

TT: Your name is on the list. Just say it confidently and walk in. 

Despite his assurance, my voice squeaked as I said, "Jake English," and I hesitated before going further. The bouncer took his time looking me up and down, and I felt painfully aware of my appearance. I was still wearing the clothes I was in when the volcano went off--partially melted shoes, dirt- and smoke-stained clothing. There was probably some blood on there too. He scanned down the list and found my name, then looked at me again, probably debating calling the police right off. 

"Go on," he said finally.

I nodded and scurried in before he could rethink it.

The hall was garishly decorated. Neon banners edged with compression artifacts hung from every wall, and a Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff shrine stood in the center of the room next to a chocolate fountain and ice cream stand. It was splendid. 

I searched the faces for Dave Strider. Despite the elaborate decorations, there weren't many people there. I wasn't sure if they'd already left because the event was nearing its end or if the alien scare was still keeping them home. 

I found him beside a wall talking with a couple of actors I recognized from my movies. Maybe when this was over I could get their autographs. It would be rather silly considering the circumstances, but still. Wow. 

Steeling myself, I stormed up, hands bunched into fists at my sides. The three adults looked at me and I opened my mouth in preparation for a grand declaration. My first attempt to speak came out as a croak, but on my second attempt I was able to say, "Hi, Mr. Strider?" which was significantly less strong than I'd been aiming for.

He smirked and said, "Hold on a sec, Darlin'," before turning back to his conversation with the actors. 

TT: Did he just call you Darlin'?  
GT: Yeah.  
TT: Is it ironic or creepy that my father figure just called you Darlin?  
GT: I dont know. Im trying to concentrate.  
TT: You don't have to look at your phone when I talk.  
TT: You could just ignore the persistent buzzing.  
TT: Every time I make a statement.  
TT: Just put it out of your mind.  
TT:  
GT: Stop that. 

I licked my lips, going over what I planned to say, except that I didn't really have a plan. I was starting to regret not looking at AR's script. Despite Dave's assurance that it would only be a second, the minutes ticked by and I felt progressively more annoyed. 

"Excuse me, Mr. Strider!" I finally exclaimed. 

"One more minute, kid," he said without looking at me. 

"You said just a sec ten minutes ago!" 

"I did, didn't I? I gotta do this thing though." 

"I have extremely vital and time sensitive information regarding your genetic progeny, and I will not be put off." 

TT: Smooth.

He turned towards me this time, his lips slowly twisting into a smirk. "Well now, that does sound like something I need to attend to this very second." He told the actors, "I'll be back in a few," then said to me, "How about I get you an ice cream and you can tell me all about it?"

"Well, alrighty," I said, feeling a little silly about my outburst. "Sorry for the hullabaloo." 

"Nah, not an issue. I love hula hooping or whatever you just said." 

TT: He sounds like a pedophile. I'm going to be upset if my idol turns out to be a pedophile.  
TT: At least the ice cream is here and not in a van in the parking lot.  
GT: What's a pedophile?  
TT: Just run if he offers you candy.

The ice cream stand had a dozen kinds of ice cream and Dave piled them on indiscriminately. "Do you want M&M's?" He asked as he scooped on toppings.

GT: Does that count?  
TT: We'll give him a pass for now. 

"Nothing with peanuts," I replied. 

"No worries, there. The entire display is peanut-free." He handed me the towering mass of ice cream and I took a tentative bite. A smile immediately spread across my face. I must have had ice cream at least once as a kid, but I couldn't remember it. Nothing on the island had ever tasted so delicious. 

"Now what's this about my nonexistent progeny?" Dave asked, leaning against the table. 

"He hasn't been born yet," I told him with my mouth full.

"What's his name?" 

"Dirk Strider." 

He nodded. "Good name. Got that porn star vibe without being over-the-top. Definitely something I'd choose. So, how do you know about the little sperm cowboy?" 

"Well, I mean, we've been friends forever," I said, chewing nervously on the tip of my spoon.

"Must be hard to be friends with someone who doesn't exist." 

"He does exist, just in the future, and an alien friend of ours set it up so we could chat across time... or something... I'm not explaining this well," I said, pausing to organize my thoughts. "See, he's in the future after the Batterwitch causes the apocalypse and..."

He shot straight up and I trailed off, staring at him. 

"How do you know about her?" he asked, expression suddenly serious. 

"I was under the impression that everyone knew about her now," I said hesitantly.

"Not by that name." 

"Oh, well, it's the name that Dirk and Roxy, that's Rose's genetic progeny, have always called her. My grandma too."

"Who's your grandma?" 

"Jade English?" 

Dave pulled out his cell phone and dialed. "We should take this somewhere more private." As he put the phone to his ear he added, "Shit, that sounded bad. I promise I'm not a pedophile," immediately followed by, "Haha, you're a riot, Rose." 

"What's a pedophile?" I asked. 

"God, you're so innocent. I feel like I need to hide you under my coat." He paused, making a face at his phone. "Gee, thanks." I assumed the last part wasn't directed at me.

GT: What is a pedophile?  
TT: It's an adult attracted to children.  
GT: Are the two of you calling me a child?  
TT: You're not the one who's supposed to be insulted by this accusation. 

"Okay," Dave said, repocketing his phone, "We're going to go back to my place and Rose will meet us there in a couple of hours. Eat your ice cream. I'm going to go gracefully excuse myself." 

I hopped up on the table and sat cross-legged beside the toppings while I finished my dessert. 

GT: Im not a child. 

\--

Dave's apartment was surprisingly plain. Two of the walls of his living room were brick, and the other two were white with what looked like cartoons of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff drawn on them in sharpie. I wondered if they were plans for a future movie. There was an entertainment center at one end of the room and an attached kitchen at the other end. He put in a movie for me to watch and went to look at papers spread across his kitchen table while we waited for Rose. She knocked just as the credits were starting to roll, which made me remember other Dave's comment about her being psychic. Maybe he was on to something. 

I joined Dave at the door as he let Rose in, and she gave me a long look. "You're Jade's boy," she said. 

"Yes, ma'am." For some reason she felt like the type of woman who deserved an honorific, though ma'am didn't have quite the right feel. Maybe my lady or mistress. 

"We were sorry to hear she died." 

I didn't know the proper response to that, so I simply said, "Thank you." 

"Dave tells me that you are offering information about future events?"

"Uh, yes." I'd thought a little more about the right way to word things, so I went right into it. "In a little less than 400 years, Dirk and Roxy are created using some sort of alien cloning reproduction method that I don't really get using your genetic material."

"That was not what I was imagining when you said genetic progeny," Dave said. "My version had a lot more sex." 

I pushed on, not letting him distract me. "They live in houses that you set up for them and hid from the Batterwitch." 

"I did have..." Rose paused, looking for the right word, "...inklings of this. I imagine we left them with supplies and information to protect themselves with?" 

"Yeah, everything they could need."

Rose nodded at Dave. "I think he's telling the truth."

"What else do you know?" Dave asked. 

"Well, quite a bit." I proceeded to tell them about the Batterwitch's schemes and the humans who helped her, about how the world reacted to her, and about the fight against her. I only left out their deaths and those of their friends, since it didn't seem quite proper to talk about. 

"This is a lot to take in," Rose said thoughtfully. "We'll need to discuss it and figure out our next steps."

"I thought that maybe if we struck early we could keep it all from happening," I said.

Rose smiled gently, and I knew right away that I didn't like that smile. "It's not a bad plan, Jake, but I'm afraid that you will not be included in this we." 

"But I have all of the information."

"We do appreciate that, but it wouldn't be right to take a child into a fight." 

I squeezed my hands into fists. "I'm not a child."

"I'm afraid that..."

"I'm not a child! I have taken care of myself all my life! I had to burn my grandmother's body, fight against monsters and robots, and watch my best friends die. I am not a child."

"They're dead?" Dave asked, his voice calm but tinged with sadness. I hadn't meant to mention that. 

"Yes," I said quietly. "I plan to prevent that."

"We'll do our best, Jake," Rose said. "But you're still too young for us to take you into a battle in good conscious. Perhaps when you're older." 

I knew what they didn't, though. I didn't have an older. 

"Maybe you should get some sleep..." 

I turned and stomped out of the room without letting her finish. Why was it that after years of not having any guardian, everyone I encountered now acted as if they were my parent?


	6. Chapter 6

  
_"I think in a way, you're doomed, once you can envision something. You're sort of doomed to make it happen."_  
Chuck Palahniuk

The island was deathly still. It wasn't just that the animals were silent. The wind didn't rustle through the leaves. The waves didn't crash against the shore. The sun beat down on me from directly overhead with no indication that it intended to change its position any time soon.

Another dream, I thought. I pulled myself onto a branch immediately overhead and scanned the area for other dreamers. I could just barely see the shore from where I stood. I twisted and leaned forward to get the best view through the leaves, but there was no sign of Jade. Then I gazed up at the volcano, but without any lava, it seemed unlikely it would act as a portal to Dave's world again. 

At first I sat and waited, thinking that perhaps someone would come to me, but I started feeling restless after just a few minutes and hopped back down to the ground. I pushed my way through the branches, taking the quickest course to the ruins instead of the safest one I usually took. 

The ocean was calm as far as I could see. Maybe this was Jade's island. Her's always sounded much safer than mine in her letters. But then I remembered that she'd pointed out in the last dream that my ruins were slight different from hers, and these were definitely the same ruins I always saw. 

I walked along the shore until it became too rocky to trek, and then I moved inland. By the time I approached the mountain, it was getting hard to breathe. I told myself that it was because of all the exercise, but I knew that you couldn't get tired in dreams. 

I climbed through the winding trail up to the top of the mountain and looked out at the island. There was no eruption, no fire. The rubble around me looked fresh, long before it was stained with blood. Dirk's head was gone, as was all the machinery that Roxy had set up. I checked my pesterchum, and not only were my friends not online, their names weren't even entered in the client. 

My chest heaved as I sat down, and I resigned myself to being utterly, desperately, alone.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Added two chapters today since the last dream chapter was so short. Careful you don't skip it.

  
_"If men do not now succeed in abolishing war, civilization and mankind are doomed."_  
Ludwig von Mises

I was out of bed the second I awoke, eager to escape any residue of my dreams.

GT: Hey.  
TT: Look who's chipper today.  
GT: I hadnt thought hey was a particularly chipper word.  
TT: Compared to the way you usually greet me, it is.  
GT: I dont recall having a way of greeting you.  
TT: Exactly.

As I walked into the living room, I noticed Dave sleeping on the couch and quieted my steps. Rose must have taken his bed. I thought about potential breakfasts on my way to the kitchen. Maybe he had cereal. I'd never had cereal, but it had always looked delicious in movies. I was contemplating a huge spoonful of multicolored loops when the pile of papers on the table caught my eye. A few of them seemed to have blueprints of some sort, and detailed plans. I snapped some photos with my phone and sent them to AR.

GT: Can you interpret this?  
TT: They look like specs on the Batterwitch's locale.  
GT: How hard would it be for us to get in?  
TT: What are you thinking, Jake?  
GT: Im thinking its time to make a difference.  
TT: I don't condone this course of action.  
GT: Im doing it whether you help or not and you know how its likely to go if you dont.  
TT: Fine, but I'm in charge of planning, and you listen to me.  
GT: Agreed. 

I organized the plans into a pile and captchalogued them just in case. Dave still hadn't stirred. I debated leaving a note, some explanation, or even just a thank you for listening, but in the end I thought it would be best to disappear out of their lives as quickly as I appeared. 

\--

The Batterwitch's hideout was off the shore of Washington state, so we caught the next flight to Seattle and took a taxi to the shore from there. The drive was almost as long as the flight. I was a little surprised by how long it took to get everywhere. They always skipped over this part in the movies. 

By the time we arrived, AR had already worked out several plans and backup plans. I stood at the edge of the water staring out across the expanse.

GT: Did you work out how were going to get from here to there?  
TT: With a boat.  
GT: Oh.

I looked around our surroundings.

GT: Did you work out where were going to get a boat?  
TT: I feel like you're not pulling your weight on this team, Jake.  
GT: This is the story of my life. Grand plans with an ocean in the way.  
TT: I'm certain you can find a boat. Have you tried looking?  
GT: Yes i have tried looking.  
GT: There are not any boats immediately available.  
TT: As a human, you have these grand things called legs. Use them.  
TT: Satellite images show houses to the north. 

I turned north and walked along the shore. After about twenty minutes, a large house appeared in the distance. It became clear as we drew closer that it had a dock with two boats attached. One was a large, majestic sailboat. The other was a runty, little motorboat that was just embarrassing next to the house and sailboat. Honestly, the owner probably wouldn't miss it. 

I watched the house as we approached, but there was no sign of movement. I hopped from the dock to the boat, detached the ropes, and sat in the driver's seat. 

GT: Now what?  
TT: Are there keys?  
GT: Not that I see.  
TT: Try the dashboard. 

I opened the dash and a pair of silver keys fell out. 

GT: Its like theyre asking someone to steal this.  
TT: Well then, let's not disappoint them. 

After a few misstarts as I experimented with the controls, none of which appeared to alert anyone in the house, we managed to get the boat going in the right direction. AR monitored our gps location, leading us towards our destination. My heart beat faster the further we went--with nervousness or excitement, I couldn't tell. Finally a buoy rose on the horizon, and I slowed the boat so it didn't make too much noise as we approached. 

GT: Is this it?  
TT: It has to be. 

I stepped onto the edge of the buoy, and pushed its top to the side. It opened revealing a tunnel downwards, just as the plans had shown. I grinned as I pulled Lil Seb out of my inventory. "Your turn," I said, holding him low enough that he could grab the ladder. He scampered down immediately, and I waited anxiously for his response. 

TT: He says it's clear. 

I nodded, even though he couldn't see me, swallowed, and started downwards. 

It was dark and cramped. I could feel the other side of the tunnel rubbing against my back. There must be another way into this, I thought. The Batterwitch was an alien sea creature. She probably swam down to some grand entrance with chandeliers and tea cozies, while her land-dwelling minions slunk down through this entrance. I wasn't even certain what a tea cozy was, but I just knew it was the kind of thing that was kept in much preferable entrance ways than this. 

After about five minutes of descending, the area around me expanded and light started filling the tunnel. I glanced down and could see the ground beneath me, so dropped the rest of the way. 

I felt like I was in a concrete bunker. Not exactly what I expected from the future queen of the world. I must still be in the servants' quarters. 

I crept along the walls, trying to blend in and thinking that one of these days it might not be a bad idea to change my clothes. Black would have been a good choice for today. 

The next door was cracked open. Lil Seb must have already gone through. 

GT: I'm at the door.  
TT: He says the hallway's clear. Go right. 

I pushed my way through, and the scenery changed immediately. The walls were still black, stone now instead of concrete, but it was much more lavishly decorated. A pink carpet lay underfoot, and on the walls there was... was that bling? It could have been a scene out of one of Dave's movies. 

I closed the door behind me so that it wouldn't look suspicious and continued stealthily down the hallway. I'd gone full ninja, walking on the balls of my feet just a little hunched over. If my movies had taught me anything, it was that nobody could see me when I did this. 

TT: Someone's coming. 

There was another door so I ducked into it and watched through the crack. A large figure with shiny black skin walked by. 

GT: Is that one of the carapace people Roxy lived with?  
TT: Probably. The Batterwitch is queen of the black ones. 

I waited a few minutes after he passed to sneak back into the hallway. I'd much rather avoid them than fight them. They'd been kind to Roxy, and I didn't want to hurt anyone unnecessarily. 

TT: Turn left at the next hallway. 

The further I went, the fancier things became, or at the very least the more of that bling that hung from the walls. I guessed that it was kind of fancy. The ceiling was even starting to glitter. 

TT: It's the next door.

I didn't need him to tell me. The door was jewel encrusted, what looked like diamonds and pearls forming the design of a shell, and blue and purple jewels forming an ocean around it. I took a deep breath, made sure my guns were prepared, and pushed the door open. 

A throne of seashells sat in the center of the room, and on it sat the most despicable being I'd ever had the displeasure of knowing existed. 

She grinned as I entered. "Wuz up, Jake? Whatcha come to sea me for?" 

I wanted to have a one-liner, the kind that would really make this scene in the movie version of my life, but all I could do was raise my guns and shoot. I shot round after round, emptying every bullet I had into her. She never even moved. The whole time she kept her casual position, her cheek leaned against her hand in an almost bored manner. When my ammunition was fully emptied, she stood, not a mark on her, and twirled her trident in her hand. 

"I think it's time for dis bitch to get some payback," she said.

My phone buzzed with a message from AR, but I didn't need to look at it to know what it said. I ran. 

\--

Black carapace men were spilling out of every doorway as I skidded into the hallway. I aimed my guns before remembering that I'd already used all of my bullets. Well, that was useless. How had I expected to get out without any bullets?

It was an easy enough question to answer. I hadn't. I knew I was doomed to die; I guess I just thought that if I took the greatest evil in history down with me, that it would be worth it. And now I just felt like an idiot. 

I threw a gun at the nearest thug and it bounced neatly off of his head, but there were a dozen more after him and I only had so many items to throw. 

Before the gun hit the ground, Lil Seb was underfoot catching it and dashing over to me to drop it back into my hand. Then he launched off of me at the coming men. His sword slashed through them like Swiss cheese. When he had decimated the nearest carapaces, he looked back at me and motioned for me to come.

"Oh."

I ran after him as he continued clearing a path, keeping my guns in hand in case I needed something hard to throw again. 

I was glad the rabbit knew where he was going, because I couldn't remember any of these turns and every door looked the same. He turned into a doorway, slicing the door in half instead of opening it, and we were in the concrete bunker where we started, five minutes from the surface. In the center of the room stood the ladder, with the Batterwitch leaning casually against it like she'd been waiting for me. She grinned as I entered and dragged her trident lazily over her shoulders into a better fighting position. Lil Seb continued running without pause and launched himself at her, but she whacked him out of the air and into a wall without any apparent effort.

My phone was buzzing with message after message from AR, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from her as she strutted towards me. In the dark room, her trident shone like a lantern in the sea. 

I opened my mouth to say something, preferably something brave and defiant. Something memorable. But my breath was stuck in my throat. 

A bright light burst from behind me and hit the Batterwitch, throwing her backwards. In the next second, Rose stood in front of me with what appeared to be a pair of glowing magic wands, and a hand was dragging me backwards and turning me around. Dave stood there with his sword drawn and his hand firmly on my shoulder pulling me back towards the door I'd just come through. "That's not the way out," I said, pulling back against him. 

"There's another exit." 

"Does it have chandeliers and tea cozies?"

He stared at me like I had gone crazy, which I fully admitted I might have. "What?"

We reached the door but I braced my hands against the doorframe. "Hold on!" 

I turned and looked back at Rose and the Batterwitch. The Batterwitch had gotten easily back to her feet and was flying through the air at Rose, deflecting her magic laser bursts with the trident. I stroked my gun, wishing it had bullets so I could do something, despite how little good that had done the last time I tried. 

"Why are you in such a fucking hurry to die?" Dave yelled at me, trying to push me through the exit, but I pushed back.

"It's not like I have much of a choice!” I yelled back. “I'm doomed!"

"You're what?"

"Doomed. It means I'm going to die."

"Yeah, well, so am I, but not today." 

He pushed again, and this time I let him. I stumbled backwards into the hallway, calling, "Lil Seb!" while I could still see him lying on the ground near the wall. His body twitched, and then he was up and running towards me. He jumped and I caught him and then threw him into the hallway in front of us. He landed with his sword wielded ready to fight. 

Dave led the way, and, though he seemed a little wary of Seb at first, the two of them fought side by side skillfully. I could see the benefit of having a weapon that never ran out of ammo. I trailed behind with my gun out but nothing to do. 

The other entrance was nicer, but not significantly so. There was some sort of magic bubble door that exited straight out into the water. 

"Do you have a mask?" Dave asked.

"No."

He handed me a red and black mask and said, "Just swim straight up." 

"Do you have an extra?" I asked.

"No. I'll be fine."

"I'm a really good swimmer," I said, trying to hand it back. 

"Just take the damn mask. I'll be up right behind you." 

I hesitated, then put it on and captchalogued Seb so that he'd be safe from the water. The bubble membrane felt weird going through, like I was submerging in goo, and then I was in the water. The water pressure was heavy against my skin, making my lungs feel constricted, and breathing through the mask felt like suffocating, but I pointed myself upwards and kicked. 

I reached the surface beside a large yacht. I could see my dinky motorboat in the distance, and imagined that it was so far away because the yacht was embarrassed to be associated with it. 

I climbed onto the deck and stared down at the water. I was a good swimmer, but I didn't think I could hold my breath long enough to swim all the way out of that. I worried that Dave had never intended to follow me out, or that he had tried and couldn't make it. That I'd killed him years before he was supposed to die and single-handedly destroyed any chance humans had of holding off the Batterwitch's reign. 

I was staring so intently, that I didn't notice the sound of the motorboat until it was only a few feet away. I blinked blankly at it and its inhabitants as it pulled up beside the yacht. 

"Move over," Dave said, putting his hands on the rail and pulling himself up. 

"You came out the other entrance," I said stupidly. 

"Yeah, there was no way I was going to try swimming that without a mask." 

"You said you'd be right behind me." 

"And I was." He offered a hand down to Rose and she daintily pulled herself up. She wasn't fooling anyone with that. 

"Where'd you get that robo-rabbit?" Dave asked as Rose went to the controls and started the motor. 

"Lil Seb?" I asked, pulling him out of my inventory. He danced a little jig on the deck. "Dirk built him. He's a genius." 

"Oh my," Rose said, looking back at us. "Are you sure he's Dave's?" 

"Excuse you," Dave said. "I think my films speak for my intelligence well-enough."

"I suppose we can agree upon that," Rose said, turning the ship towards shore. 

I finally took out my phone and looked down all of the messages from AR. Most of them were plans, perfectly logical and well-written, but I thought I knew him well enough by now to see the growing panic behind them. The last message just said, "I'm glad you're okay."

"Me too," I wrote.


	8. Chapter 8

  
_"Perhaps I am doomed to retrace my steps under the illusion that I am exploring, doomed to try and learn what I should simply recognize, learning a mere fraction of what I have forgotten."_  
Andre Breton

I was on the mountain again, watching the volcano erupt. Dirk's head was on the broken wall, blood dripping down the edges, and I looked away.

Then I saw him. Dirk. The whole Dirk, head still attached. He smiled uncertainly at me and my breath caught in my throat. 

"Hi," Dirk said. 

"Hi," I replied, unable to think of a single other thing to say. 

"It's been awhile since we were here," he said, looking behind me at the volcano. 

I followed his gaze, then dropped my eyes to the head on the wall. I hadn't been the one to put it there. 

"Are you in the game?" I asked. 

His eyebrows bunched in confusion. "Yeah, I'm on Lotak. Where are you?" 

I hesitated before answering, "Seattle." 

"What?"

I ran my fingers through my hair, and then, not able to think of any other way to say it, told him, "I'm not the Jake you think I am." 

His eyebrows raised with realization and I could feel myself flushing. I was embarrassed not to be the Jake in the game. Embarrassed to be doomed. Before he could say anything, I said, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, shoot." 

"Did... well, it's actually several questions, I guess. Did you grow up on a post-apocalyptic world?" 

He shifted, looking like he was going to walk towards me, but ending up in the same place. "Yeah." 

"Did you cut off your head as part of a plan to save everyone?" 

This one made him pause, but he finally answered, "Yeah." 

"What made that succeed?" 

"What do you mean?"

I gnawed on my lip, thinking about what exactly I was looking for. "Is there anything in particular that stands out that made the plan work? Some hint that was left for you? Something Dave or Rose or Roxy said? Some last minute thing that changed?" 

"No..." He turned his head, thinking about it. I was glad he was at least taking me seriously. "It was mostly just AR's instructions."

"AR?" I asked.

"Yeah. I knew a lot of what was happening, but he knew a lot more. Honestly, I think he manipulated the situation a lot more than I originally realized. I'm not exactly thrilled with his behavior." 

I thought about this, and then felt my eyes widen. I knew what to do. And bollux it was so damn frustrating that, even in this, it wasn't going to be me to save them. But what the hell did it matter. At least they would be saved. 

"So, AR made sure everything was in place, and gave step-by-step instructions?" I asked. 

"Basically, yeah." 

"Okay. Okay, I can work with that." I took a deep breath. "Can you tell me everything that happened? Don't leave anything out." 

\--

By the time he finished his story, we were sitting on the broken wall together, just a few inches apart. Always just a little too distant. I stared at his fingers by mine as he finished talking. 

"Thanks," I said, looking up at his face. I wanted this to be the memory I returned to, not the one of his decapitated head. But even if I could control that, even if I saw him like this again, I had no claim to him, and I never would. "Are you and the other Jake dating?" I asked before I could fully think the question through.

"...Yeah." There was a hesitation there that I didn't fully understand, but I didn't give myself time to think on it. 

I grinned widely, managing to keep my expression from faltering through strength of will alone. I didn't want Dirk's last memory of me to be me being weak. "I'm glad. I really want everything to work out for you." 

Dirk paused and looked about ready to say something, but then he disappeared. He must have woken up. 

As I let my expression relax, the scenery relaxed too, fading from his version of that day into mine. The eruption slowed, the fire extinguished, and I sat repeating details until I finally awoke.


	9. Chapter 9

  
_"The knowledge that every ambition is doomed to frustration at the hands of a skeleton have never prevented the majority of human beings from behaving as though death were no more than an unfounded rumor."_  
Aldous Huxley

I lay in the hotel bed continuing to repeat the details to myself as I slowly came out of sleep. As soon as I was awake enough to move, I grabbed my phone and typed everything I could remember to AR. He didn't reply until I was done.

TT: That's not quite how it went.   
TT: I didn't know some of that.  
GT: I figured.   
GT: What would it take for you to get that information to yourself?  
TT: I have several plans, backup plans, and backup backup plans.  
TT: But our most reliable course is to make sure my glasses are left in Dirk's apartment.  
TT: From there I could sync with the me he creates, or feed that me some information. Maybe just take his place at some point. I'll improvise when I get there.

I was halfway out the room, still typing to AR, when I noticed a pile of clothing with a note that read, "Please, for the sake of humanity, shower and change into these clothes." I laughed, and did as instructed. 

\--

Rose and Dave were sitting at the kitchen table with cups of coffee when I entered the hotel suite's living space. They both looked up as I approached. 

"Good morning, Jake," Rose said. "We've just been discussing your future." 

"Ah," I said sitting down. "I've been thinking about that myself. But first." I took AR's glasses out of my inventory and handed them to Dave. He raised his eyebrows at me.

"Snazzy."

"His name is AR." They both gave me an odd look so I continued quickly. "He's sort of a mind clone of Dirk from a few years back, and he has information that we want to get to his future... past... self. Could you make sure that he's put in Dirk's apartment when you set it up for him?" 

"He's a mind clone of Dirk? That's weird," Dave said, raising the glasses to his eyes. He was viewing sunglasses through sunglasses. That couldn't be particularly easy to see. "And apparently he doesn't like being called weird." 

He passed the glasses to Rose who looked in them and said, "Oh, hello." 

"He also knows more about what happens over the next few decades than anyone, so maybe he can help you out." 

Rose put the glasses down on the table and folded her hands together. "Why are you giving this to us, Jake?" 

"Like I said, I want you to..."

"What I meant to imply with my question," she interrupted, "is what kind of future are you planning for yourself?" 

I hesitated. "I'm going to go," I said finally. "Get my adventuring in while I have the chance." They both looked ready to object and I quickly added, "I promise I'm not going to try to attack the Batterwitch again, or purposefully get myself killed. But this is what I want to do."

Rose pursed her lips. "You are welcome to stay with either of us. We'll set you up in a school." 

"Thanks," I said, "but I know this narrative and I'm not a part of it. I'll keep in touch, though. I promise." 

Rose looked at Dave, who nodded. "Alright. But we're here if you change your mind." 

\---

I smiled as I left the hotel. Despite everything, it felt amazing to be off that damn island. I didn't know how much time I had left, but I was going to make the most of it. My phone buzzed as I walked towards the taxi port. 

TT: You do realize that disposing of my physical body doesn't mean that you've gotten rid of me.  
GT: Of course pal! Where should we adventure first?  
TT: I was thinking baby steps. Start somewhere safe, like the midwest suburbs, and work your way up.  
GT: Funny i was thinking fighting tigers in the sahara.   
TT: There aren't even tigers in the Sahara, you idiot.   
GT: We wont know that for certain until we check it out for ourselves!  
TT: I suppose that's something that some people may consider logic. The ticket is booked.  
GT: To the suburbs or the sahara?  
TT: I thought you were all about the adventure, Jake. You'll find out when you get there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! Let me know what you think. <3


End file.
